Making friends as an adult is hard. We all know this. We’ve all got values, and political opinions and cultural groups we belong to, finding like-minded people post college requires work. Plus, I don’t like superficial friendships, I want something deep and meaningful. Since becoming a mom I’ve been on a mission to make more lesbian friends. Betsy, on the other hand, has felt like her friend quota is full. She’s got a half dozen close friends and some chickens, she’s good.
I’m also the type of person that when I meet someone I can almost immediately tell if I want to be their friend. My go to line is, ‘Will you be my friend in real life?’ I’ve had great success with my direct approach in the past. I have two amazing midwife friends, psychologist friends, our primary care doctor ( I have a thing for medical providers) and a fantastic HR representative using that approach.
Although, once it didn’t go as well. Let’s call her Lucy, which I often did and wasn’t exactly her name. Lucy and I hit it off great at a work training and I went with the ‘friends in real life’ approach. We swapped numbers and she seemed rather enthusiastic about hanging out or grabbing lunch. Although after a week of texting Lucy stopped replying. I can take a hint. But my overall success rate is still high.
One afternoon I came home from work and told Betsy how I had asked one of the psychologists to be my friend in real life. I was super excited about this one because she was gay, married, getting ready to have kids. I started imagining our camping trips together and holiday gatherings. Sometimes I get ahead of myself. But I was hopeful. Betsy’s response, “I’m not really looking for new friends but we can have them over for a friend interview.” Fair enough, I mean I don’t really know this woman, just that she’s gay, married and has a good sense of humor.
Our first friend interview consisted of dinner at our house, less chance of the nervous shits. I’d say things went okay. Betsy seemed to like them, besides the kale salad they brought. (Don’t get me started on kale.) The second interview went fantastic. We had brunch and they brought a bowl of fruit. Seemed like no big deal, but it has the good fruit in it; raspberries, pineapple, strawberries. Not cantaloupe and honeydew. What kind of fruit salad has honeydew and cantaloupe? A shit one, that’s what.
Post second interview, Betsy and I were ready to make the friendship offer. Also known as making plans for the distant future. We committed to a concert that was eight months away. It was a big deal.
Although now I think Betsy’s just in it for the bragging rights.